Episode 23: Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs: Transforming Your Career Story

Over the years, I found myself trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and overwhelming fear whenever career crossroads appeared. Reflecting on those moments, it became clear that the stories I told myself were barriers crafted from past experiences and societal expectations. Join us, Jodi and Judy, as we unravel these narratives, encouraging you to examine whether your internal dialogues serve as stepping stones or stumbling blocks in your career journey. Through personal anecdotes, we reveal how such engrained beliefs can deter change and block the path to professional satisfaction.

Our conversation broadens to reveal the impact of limiting beliefs on career decisions and job searches. These beliefs, often misguided attempts to shield ourselves from disappointment, can cap our growth. We dissect common misconceptions like needing to be 100% qualified for a job or fearing the idea of networking. By exploring how family and societal expectations shape our priorities, we highlight the importance of identifying these mental constraints. Recognizing and overcoming these beliefs can open the door to roles that not only pay the bills but also enrich our lives.

 We'll empower you to reframe your narrative. By distinguishing between limiting beliefs and factual thoughts, we provide strategies for transforming negative self-talk into affirming truths. Journaling and self-reflection become your allies, inviting you to practice objectivity and encourage a mindset shift towards recognizing your inherent value and potential for growth. Craft your career transition story, and take the first steps in articulating your aspirations. As we wrap up, we invite you to explore the mindset shifts needed for meaningful career transformations. Stay connected with us for more insightful conversations, and we urge you to share your journey and reflections with us.

Transcript

00:00 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Hello again and welcome to In your Head with Jodi and Judy. I'm Judy. 

00:04 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
And I'm Jodi. Last episode we talked about mindset as the foundation of a successful career transition. Mindset is such a key factor in how successful you handle a move within your career, so we want to elaborate on that a little bit today. 

00:21 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Absolutely. Today we're focusing on something so common to the human experience and that is limiting beliefs and fear-based thinking. We're actually biologically predisposed to thinking about safety, and these negative beliefs and narratives we tell ourselves are habits we've developed over time. To quote keep us safe right. This is really a primal thing. We've developed over time. To quote keep us safe right. This is really a primal thing, and it goes way back to the safety in numbers perspective of survival. Often these thoughts aren't necessary in today's world from a safety perspective and they only serve really to hold us back from achieving what we would otherwise desire to do in our lives. But, as we keep saying in our podcast, jodi, we have a choice when it comes to what to think, right, and we'll talk more about where these thoughts come from and how they hold us back and what to do about them all through the lens of career transition and job search. 

01:20 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
So I want to start with a question that I want you to ask yourself. What is the story you're telling yourself about your career transition? So what is it you're saying, and is this helping you or is this holding you back? 

01:37 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
I like that. That's a great place to start. Well, let's dive into understanding the power of narratives the stories we tell ourselves, the thoughts we have and how they shape us and the behaviors that can come from them. I think first we need to understand what narrative means in this context. We're really using that word to talk about the stories that we've developed about ourselves, and also about others and our circumstances as well, and typically these stories have to do with the challenge or a tough situation we found ourselves in? 

02:13 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, and I think you and I both hear these very common internal narratives that usually get repeated at us, but these are the ones that I hear the most that tend to hold us back in life and especially in your job search. So when you start hearing your mind say I'm not good enough or I should have figured it all out by now, which is a common one when people are changing jobs or changing careers, feeling like gosh, I should have had this figured out by now. It's very negative. 

02:41
Or if I switch careers now, I'm going to have to start all over negative. 

02:45 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Or if I switch careers now, I'm going to have to start all over. Yep, that's a common one. I think I've had all of these thoughts at some point in my life on a on a you know repeat basis, especially that I'm not good enough one. I think it's so human to have these thoughts. What we're talking about now is like let's bring awareness to these thoughts and let's figure out how we can work with them to not be held back in life. 

03:07
So one of the things I often been curious about is like where do these thoughts come from? Right, and the truth is they come from our past experiences. Whether we can go back to the experience that happened in our minds and figure that out or not, it's really coming from something we've experienced, either in childhood, maybe from a well-meaning parent or teacher, maybe messages they've given us, or maybe past experiences as an adult. There are also these societal and cultural norms that can lend themselves to these limiting beliefs. Also, feedback from prior managers, you know, can also lead to having non-factual limiting beliefs about ourselves and, as I said, sometimes we can't decipher where they come from specifically. But these internal narratives we have, over time they become habitual and they actually become limiting beliefs. 

04:03 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, I have a kind of a personal anecdote on this one, because I was in an industry for a very long time and I certainly had this belief. And I know many people I worked with and other people I knew within the industry had this same feeling that we've been in this business so long, there's no way to get out. And I saw people stay in that industry way beyond when they were happy. They just didn't want to make a move. They never felt that they could like. This is what I am, this is what I do, this is what I'm going to be doing the rest of my life. For me. I kind of know where that came from, because I had parents who were in careers that they stayed in for their lives. So I kind of feel like I kind of grew up thinking well, you find your niche and that's what you do for the rest of your life. So I kind of convinced myself I couldn't ever change that. That's where I was. 

04:56
I ultimately did, but I saw many, many people get stuck in an industry or in a role that they had outgrown, they didn't want to do, but they had told themselves well, this is what I am and this is what I do, so I've got to stay here. 

05:08 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yeah, I mean, it makes me think about my own life, my dad. He held a job he absolutely hated as an adult and when I was a young child I remember him the moaning he hated his job on a Sunday afternoon. He was having the Sunday afternoon blues, I think, and he said, mentioned to me that he hated his job and my nine-year-old self. I say, well, why don't you get a new job, dad? And his response was when you have a family to support, you don't just go get a new job. That was his limiting belief and he stayed in that job until he passed away. 

05:45
Yeah. 

05:46 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, that's. That's another very common one. So so let's talk about how do you spot a limiting belief, and I think first you have to know what. What does that even mean? What is a limiting belief? So a limiting belief is a deep seated belief that you form over time that constrains what you believe is possible or true for yourself. Hopefully that makes sense. They aren't a sign of weakness by any stretch. They often come as a protective. They're often protective in origin. 

06:15 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yeah, like we talked about. 

06:17 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Just like we talked about, and they also develop kind of to shield us from disappointment or rejection or embarrassment. But, over time. The problem is, they limit our growth. 

06:28 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
And the problem is they limit our growth, yep, yep. So to share more on this, let's take a look at some examples of limiting beliefs that might show up in a job search. I feel like these types of beliefs really can quietly sabotage our momentum in life and in a job search. So let's take a look at what some of these might be. So, if we're thinking about ourselves, a limiting belief might be I need to be 100% qualified to apply for a job. Does that come up for? 

06:54 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
you with clients All the time and let's just put it out there there's almost no candidate that is 100% qualified for a job. 

07:03
So, just telling yourself that is going to keep you from applying for jobs. It's going to keep you from looking for certain things for jobs. It's going to keep you from looking for certain things. So the reality is, if you have maybe 70%, 75, every job's going to be different. But don't ever let that a hundred percent be your standard, because there are other things besides actual qualifications that go into being qualified for a job. 

07:26 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Good, fit is one. Yeah, being a great fit and landing the job. Even people land jobs all the time with without a hundred% of the qualifications they're requiring. Another one is I'm terrible at networking. I've had many clients say this to me. Or I have a gap on my resume. I haven't worked in a year or longer, so no one's going to take me seriously, right? There's a fear of how do I explain this, and that can hold people back. 

07:54 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, those are. Those are all common. There's also a lot of limiting beliefs about the job market, and I hear these especially right now. The market's too competitive, no one's hiring someone like me or that one again, unless I meet every requirement, there's no point in applying or looking at jobs and going. You know what all the good jobs are taken, they're already gone. 

08:16 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
There aren't any jobs out there for me, yeah, and a lot of times these thoughts start getting into this sense of success and failure that we have. So one example would be if I don't land this job, I've failed. Or if I change industries, I'll have to start all over again, like we were talking about Jodi. Yeah, if I ask for more money, they're going to rescind the offer. In actuality, no one rescinds offers just because they want you, and so that can hold a lot of people back from wanting to professionally negotiate an offer right. 

08:51 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah. 

08:52 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
If I follow up, I'll annoy them and ruin my chances for moving forward in the interview Not likely to happen at all and that will prevent people from possibly getting information on what the next steps are and actually moving forward in that interview process. So any given job seeker might hold some of these thoughts as truths, preventing them from taking the action that might otherwise accelerate their job search and transition right. 

09:19 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah. So let's talk about some examples. So someone who believes that doing what I love won't pay the bills I hear that often they think they have to choose something more stable. So maybe they grew up in a family where financial security was valued above personal fulfillment. Maybe a teacher discouraged creative interests, saying things like you'll never make a living doing that. So there's a job search impact and that means that you're probably going to avoid roles in the arts nonprofits, maybe entrepreneurship, even if you're probably going to avoid roles in the arts nonprofits, maybe entrepreneurship, even if you're deeply passionate about those things, just because you've got a fear of instability. Or maybe another person might believe that people like me don't get to do that kind of work because perhaps they never saw anyone from their community or their background working in creative, high status or unconventional type jobs. Success stories were tied to traditional professions like law or medicine or teaching. So a job search impact there is that they're going to self-select out of job paths that are aligned with their passion because they just don't seem attainable or realistic. 

10:29 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yep, I can definitely see that happening. Here's another one we just kind of I talked about I shared with my father. You know, I have a family to support. I don't have the luxury of chasing dreams, so this could stem from that pressure of being, you know, a primary breadwinner or caregiver and the need to, that strong need to prioritize income and benefits over fulfillment. I mean, supporting your family is a real thing, right? Earning a certain amount of money is a real thing, but it, you know, without exploring other options when you're deeply unhappy. That's what we're talking about here. 

11:02
So the job search impact, you know, is that these people will only look at high salary, traditional roles. Maybe they just stay in their job and don't leave, but they're overlooking the hybrid or purpose-driven options without exploring whether they're even possible, right? So, jodi, if limiting beliefs aren't enough, we also, as humans, have things called these fear-based thoughts, and these are thoughts that sometimes go hand in hand with limiting beliefs, but they're also a bit different. So these thoughts based in fear are immediate and are often reactive, thoughts that are driven by some level of anxiety, uncertainty, or maybe the instinct to avoid perceived danger, discomfort. They are situational and emotional and often triggered just in any given moment. Right, and they can take on worst case scenario projections or include severe self-doubts that we might have. Examples of this would be in a job search. You know what? They didn't reply to my email. I must've said something wrong, or what if I bomb this interview? Right? That's a common fear. If I don't get this job, I'm never going to recover financially. That's really sad, right? 

12:23 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
It is. 

12:24 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yeah. 

12:25 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Well, and those fear-based thoughts? Really, they often stem from or they reinforce those limiting beliefs. So if your fear-based thought is what often stem from or they reinforce those limiting beliefs. So if your fear-based thought is, what if I don't get the job? There's probably an underlying limiting belief that I'm not valuable enough to be chosen. 

12:43
Yes, you know there's something it's reinforcing. So I would say let's. I'd like to give an exercise that I think might help you to just become more aware of your thoughts. Think about what's one harsh or negative thing you believe, one belief that you have about yourself right now, and how would your best friend respond to that? And I think that's a great exercise because I feel like we're so much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. So if you think about that, put yourself in your friend's shoes. What would they think about that? 

13:16 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
thought about you yeah, or the next time you feel challenged, ask yourself what am I making this mean about myself? That's one way to get to the thought that you're having right and then again applying what you just said, like how? What would I tell my best friend about this? So she came to me and said these things about herself. I love that, yeah. 

13:34 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah. 

13:43 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
So what are we going to do about all of these negative thoughts that aren't serving us? What we're going to do is we're going to rewrite the script, and how we're going to do that is we're going to look at how to challenge those negative thoughts. We need to understand first, I think, the distinction between limiting thoughts and beliefs and factual thoughts. 

14:00
Obviously, factual thoughts are grounded in objective reality. They can be confirmed by external facts and data. Typically they're neutral in tone, without any you know emotions or or drama, and they're evidentiary. You know they that others can see the evidence that these, these things are real and true. So examples would be, you know, obvious examples. I submitted my application on Monday. I haven't received a response yet, and I've had three interviews this month. Right, these are all grounded in reality, factual, objective, factual thoughts. So being able to understand them when you the difference between the thought and the limiting belief is important. And one way to do that is to think about what you're telling yourself when you are feeling negative. When you're feeling negative, you are likely experiencing a limiting belief versus an objective thought. 

14:54 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, and there's techniques for shifting that narrative, so let's talk about that. So the first one would be when you start hearing that negative thought I'm not good enough or I'm never going to get a job, whatever it is, what's that old story you're telling yourself. What is this old story that you're not good enough? Label it and give it a name. Then, if it's easy, try to identify where that came from, because knowing where it came from is really key. So and it's sometimes it takes you a little while to figure out where it came from Then try to identify what is the evidence against that thought. 

15:33
Challenge it. Is it really even true? Is there evidence about that? And then write a new, empowering version that's full of truth. And remember to engage your growth mindset. So, thinking big picture, not you know, just the obvious, what is, but thinking outside the box. Practice saying that out loud. So, instead of I'm not good enough, you know what. I'm more than good enough, I have more than enough experience and I'm a perfect fit for that for them. And saying that over and over, speaking it out loud and reaffirming it to yourself. 

16:11 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yeah, it sounds hokey, but there's a lot of neuroscience that supports that. Saying things out loud and looking at yourself in the mirror when you're doing it actually really helps you to take ownership over it. So why don't we go back to those three negative narratives that we talked about in the beginning of the show and kind of illustrate how this might? 

16:32 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
work. So let's look at the first one, and I just mentioned this again the I'm not good enough. 

16:37 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yeah, so the idea is you're having that thought I'm not good enough. Yeah, so the idea is you're having that thought I'm not good enough, and so your next step is to do what you said, jodi, where we actually look at how true is this, that I'm not good enough, right? 

16:48
And explore how we do fit the bill right. And so, after doing that work journaling, however you want to do it you get to the truth, and that truth might be. I bring unique strengths, experiences and values to the table here. I'm still growing and you know what? I'm more than capable of learning, what I don't yet know, and that's a fact right. 

17:14 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, yeah, and that's a real mindset shift. It takes you from self-judgment to a mindset of self-worth and growth. It's the growth mindset right, so it's using that word yet. So you're capable of learning what you don't know yet, and we're capable of learning and growing. And that's just the truth, absolutely. 

17:34 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Here's the second one we talked about early on is I should have it all figured out by now. You know, I should know how to run my job search and get a job quickly. I just should know that. So, as coaches, we learn this in training and it's actually very true in my life. The word should when we say that about ourselves or about you know for other people it applies so much pressure, especially when you're using it to highlight a shortcoming right. 

18:03 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, yeah, it does. So an empowering narrative would be something like careers and lives aren't linear. It's normal to evolve and to change direction over time. Right, you figure it out exactly at the right pace. That's good for you. 

18:23 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
I like that. I mean I think that takes that shift, you know, really is about shifting away from pressure and shame to curiosity, perhaps, and acceptance. 

18:34 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, which is important. Yeah, very. One of the other ones we mentioned was the. If I switch careers now, I'll have to start over. 

18:44 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yes, yes, yes, yes, we did talk about this one. It comes up a lot, so the different narrative that's true might be for someone. You know, hey, I'm not starting over. I'm building on everything I've done so far my skills, my insights and experience. They're all transferable. So, in this way, this is a strategic evolution and not really a reset. You see how we're framing that, but it's true, there's strategy applied here and this is not a complete reset. This is growth opportunity and an evolution. 

19:17 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, and the key mindset shift here is from a fear of loss to a recognition of value and momentum. Very different, yeah. 

19:28 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yeah, I love that. Okay, so what are some things we can do to practice this reframing that? We're just sort of illustrated just now. 

19:36 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Well, we talk about journaling a lot. We both do this and I would recommend using journaling to observe those thoughts. So when you get those limiting beliefs, those negative thoughts, and then just work through to a more empowering true thought, so writing that down and running your thoughts through kind of a lens of objectivity, so is there evidence to that? If there's not, then it's probably not true, right. And then also going back to the considering what you would say to a friend who had such thoughts about themselves. Again, you're harder on yourself than you would be on other people. So what would you say to a friend instead? Yeah, and then engage in an exercise of just brainstorming. Think about all the strengths and the talents you bring, brainstorm, write them all down. 

20:25 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
I love to do this. I love to do this with clients because it's important for a job search, from a branding perspective and from a kind of a foundational element to understand more deeply what our strengths and talents are, so we can articulate them. But I also think it's just a definite mood lifter and a mindset shift. 

20:43 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
When you're focused on that. 

20:45 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
It's a great way to start out a job search. 

20:49 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, I agree, okay, so let's talk about some of the takeaways from today. 

20:54 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Let's do so. What comes up for me is what we've been saying from the beginning. The first show that we've ever done in this podcast, which is your narrative, is a choice. You have a choice about what you think and it's all about, you know, empowering ourselves to make those choices and retrain our brains right. Also, limiting beliefs and fear-based thoughts are natural, completely normal, but they rarely support us to achieve what we want in life and work. 

21:24
And as with any behavior change, kind of retraining, the brain sort of exercises, awareness is always the step, the first step and but we have ownership is the goal. We want to own our own narratives right and make sure that they're supporting us and that they're true. To own our own narratives right and make sure that they're supporting us and that they're true. I think the final thing for me is really understanding that anything worth doing takes practice, and so it is. This. Rewriting those limiting beliefs into true stories about ourselves takes practice, but it really does. I can speak to my own, you know, in my own pursuit of this it really does change everything. 

22:03 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
Yeah, it does. Brene Brown, who we both love, says when we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending. I love that. 

22:14 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
I love that. 

22:15 - Jodi Hallerman (Co-host)
And I would use that to challenge people this week, this month. And I would use that to challenge people this week, this month, today, whenever to think about what you want your story to be when do you want to be, what do you want it to be and write a paragraph about your career transition Like it's just the first chapter of that story. You don't have to write the whole story, but get a vision of what you want it to be and just where's it going to start. 

22:38 - Judy Gielniak (Co-host)
Yeah, that's a great exercise. So, as we wrap up, we're inviting you to join us next time as we continue to explore key areas of mindset as it relates to career transition. We really appreciate you joining us today. If something resonated, feel free to share it with a friend or drop us a note. We'd love to hear from you. Be sure to follow the show so you don't miss our next conversation. Until then, take care and stay positive.